Skip to main content

Back Burner

He just showed up with his neatly trimmed beard and his long dreads with a look of sorrow on his face. I couldn't believe it! "How did he get here?" Is what I'm thinking to myself. Telling me how sorry he was for leaving the way that he did. I knew right then that I was dreaming or was it a nightmare. He wouldn't have the balls to tell me that to my face in real life. After I woke up from that dream I knew immediately that my day was going bad because it was the feeling of being mistreated that came over me.
 It finally got to me because I never really cried about it even though it's been two years since this happens. How could I be still affected by his mere presence in a dream? All I was thinking about was him looking me in my eye and telling me that he wouldn't hurt me and that he loved me. It just pierced me and then all the pain started to come out. I cried like I never have before and that was the part that really hurt me.
 Knowing that I was a good person towards him and I didn't get that return. I know it's been a long time but like I said I never really dealt with the feelings towards it. I just put it on the back burner and expected it to burn out on its own. It didn't do that it got real hot and exploded back on me. It affected me and I thought I was in the clear. It's the reason why I am numb and I can't feel for someone like I once did before.
 I don't want this to cause me to become the bitter woman and never trust anybody. I know a few women like that and it's not pretty. I don't want to be label as such. At the same time I don't to accept anything that comes my way but I don't want to have a nose so far up that I miss out on a good person. I realized that putting things on the back burner is not good. I realize that I can't dwell on what he did because he has to deal with that not me. 


Popular posts from this blog

You Never Got On!! But You With A White Girl!

After having a facebook outburst about black men saying that they only date white women I decided to talk about this epidemic! This really had me on fire yesterday because of the reasons they don't want to date us black women. I feel like black men want to be treated like kings when in reality some of them are jesters. I am not saying that all black men are like this just the ones I have encountered are whom I'm talking about.  I really don't care what your preference is or who you chose to date because you can't help what you are attracted to. What I am disagreeing with is your justification for not dating black women. This really makes me angry because they are so many beautiful and intelligent  black women that are seeking a healthy relationship. So I am going to give you the top three things that black man say that causes them to put on there snow boots lol.   1. Black Women Are Angry and Bitter! I definitely disagree with this! Not all black women are an

Like it or Nahh

I have noticed that if you are a woman you are not suppose to be outwardly sexual because it is frowned upon. I have learned that people tend to judge a woman for being sexual which I think is pretty ridiculous! I have been a victim of this myself. Some men that I have dealings with in the past didn't necessarily liked that I blogged about sex or that I was so open with strangers about my love life. I found that quite funny and very judgmental but I guess that comes with the territory. If I am divulging all this info about myself someone out there isn't going to agree with me or be on my side. I expect that I want that because I respect people's criticism but when it's malicious I don't tolerant that. I think that what I write about could possibly help another person. I know that I go thru things on a daily basis when it comes to men and relationships. Why not share my experiences and my take on things whether it be sexual or not. Some people's opinions are

The First 15....

Janee' was set up on a date with a mutual friend of ours on a blind date. She asked me if he was cute and what the dimensions were....Lol..I told her that she would find out when she sees him for the first time. I choose not to show her any pics because I wanted it to be a real blind date! Janee' was very nervous so I told her that I would be in Barnes & Noble that was just down the street from the restaurant. To make a long story short...Janee' came back to Barnes & Noble and she said that he was very handsome and he had really good conversation...then she said the "He CAN GET IT!!"...LOL Being a woman myself I know if I meet a new guy I can tell within the first 15 minutes if I like him...If I would go the next date and if I would sleep with him. Mind you the first 5 minutes are physical and the other 10 is his introduction!!  It all about chemistry and vibes for me..but that being said even if I felt that way before he started talking that could cha