I had been talking to Dallyn for about a month now on the phone and off the phone. I would tell him what's on my mind and he would understand. I even told him little things like I hadn't went swimming in a long time and how I like to try different types of food you know, silly things like that. I was getting attention from him and I liked that alot. He was very chivalrous he would open the car door and pull my seat out. To be honest I thinking what's wrong with this dude he isn't normal but I liked being treated like a lady. He would take my out to dinner and he even took me on the Creole Queen boat for dinner which I had never been on before. I was just in awe because of the attention..but in the back of my mind I was wishing it was Mark. Even though I was still with in a relationship with Mark.he didn't even notice I was gone as much because he didn't call as much. Dallyn asked me "Do you really have a boyfriend?" and I said "Yes" and He said "Really because I feel like I'm getting all your time..You are always available to be with me?" I couldn't say anything but the look on my face said it all. He grabbed my hand and kissed it and said " Beautiful don't worry about that I'm here now!". I mean when he told me that I smiled because it kinda made me feel better but I still was feeling guilty because I'm still wanting Mark to tell me those things.
I get a call from Dallyn and He said " Tiffany you have a bathing suit?" I said "No I don't have one why?" and He said " I wanted to take you swimming because you said that you haven't went swimming in a long time." I was smiling so hard while I said " Aww that's so sweet but I need to get one." He said " Get dressed and I am going to take you to get one" and I said " Okay I'll call you when I'm dressed." . He called my phone to say that he was outside waiting on me. I hurried up, grabbed my bag and walk outside to the car. There he was standing by the car looking extra handsome. He opens the car door for me and I get in
then he gets in the car. He said " I think Macy's has women bathing suits you wanna go there?" I said " That's fine we can get one from there. But where are we going to swim?" He said " I got us a suite at this hotel in Covington and there is an really big pool there and I think you will like it." I said "Ok that sounds nice." It never crossed my mind that I was going to hotel..funny right. but I was just excited about going swimming with him.
We get to the hotel and its really beautiful and the room has it own living room and kitchen. It is so big and we were on the top floor. The view was really beautiful and it was something I had never done before. So we decided to go to the pool. We were playing around in the pool for almost hour. We kissed while we where in the pool but it was innocent. It wasn't any tongue involved or anything it was just soft kisses. I was really getting kinda wrinkled from the water and we decided to go back up to the suite. We held hands on the elevator and then he looked me straight in the eye and said " I really like spending time you we have so much fun together." and said " I like to spend time with you too." So we go into the suite and I tell him that I'm needed to take a shower to wash the chlorine off. So I go into the bathroom and I get in the shower. I have been in the shower for about 5 minutes now and it is really steamy in the bathroom. All of the sudden he pulls the curtain back and gets in the shower with me. My heart is beating really fast and then he grabbed the loofah from me and began to wash my back. I'm thinking...good and bad things about right now..Should I do this? and Do I really want this? Damn he is fine! What about Mark??????? .Damn he is fine!.
After he washed my back I got out to the shower and grabbed the towel to wrap around me. He gets out of the shower and then I can feel him press his body to the back of mine and then he starts to kiss my neck..then he turns me around and he picks me up and places me on top of the sink. He starts to kiss me .. I kissed him back...I tried not to... Lord knows I tried..but I gave in... ..because he started to kiss that spot that hadn't been touch in a month...I almost slipped off of the sink....I was still wet from the shower..So he pick me up and brought me to the bed and he laid me on me back and then He said " I want you to be mine!" From there we made love (Safely) for the next hour and half. Afterwards I just laid in his arms while he was sleeping. I didn't want to spend the night with him because at the time I was living with my grandmother. Out of respect for her I didn't sleep out so I woke him up to bring me home.
So on the way home I was very quiet and I didn't say anything to him. He asked " What's wrong? Are you Ok?" I said " Yes I'm fine". I really wasn't fine at all and I was really feeling guilty about what I had just done. Don't get me wrong it was amazing but I still felt like dirt afterwards. As well pulled up to my house he asked me again was everything ok and I denied it again. I told him that everything was fine and that I really enjoyed spending time with him the whole day. He leaned over then he kissed me goodnight. I got out of the car and went inside. I went straight to the bathroom and got in the shower. I started to cry because I was really ashamed and scared because I have never been unfaithful before. I thinking..How should I tell him?...Should I say something?..After I got out shower I got into bed and I cried the whole time.
Couple of days went by and I couldn't hold it anymore. I had to get this off my chest so I called Mark..He answered and I said " Mark I don't think I can be with you any more!" I have been in this relationship by myself and you don't care!" I was crying as I was telling this to him. I told him that I was seeing someone else and I could here the sadness in his voice when he said "What?". I just knew it was over from there but then he said that he wanted to work things out with me and that I meant everything to him and he didn't want to lose me. He even asked me to marry him over the phone. I was crying because I felt even worst about what I had done but I mean what was I suppose to do. Mark wasn't there for me when I needed him the most! Was this just his way of pacifying me? Do I really want to be his wife? Do I deserve that title after what I had done? Foolishly I accepted his proposal and as I was on the phone with him...Dallyn is blowing up my phone..Should just leave Dallyn alone after he gave me what I wanted and begged Mark for?
After all was said and done I learned that neither of these guys were for me! After Katrina Mark moved to Atlanta, Ga and he never came back to the N.O. for good. He would come down every once and while and I would see him but other than that nothing grew of it. He is now married to someone else and I wish them the best of luck. As for Dallyn he had to real BIG BAGGAGE that I couldn't handle. I TELL YOU LATER..That's another story..What I take away from this confession is that you have control over your own happiness and if you are unhappy with a relationship or someone...tell that person first and see if they make the change themselves. Because I learned that relationships fail when you try to change the other person instead of yourself. Right now I have the tools for a successful relationship because of what I failed at in the past. So this journey only makes me more equipment for the future holds for me.
I get a call from Dallyn and He said " Tiffany you have a bathing suit?" I said "No I don't have one why?" and He said " I wanted to take you swimming because you said that you haven't went swimming in a long time." I was smiling so hard while I said " Aww that's so sweet but I need to get one." He said " Get dressed and I am going to take you to get one" and I said " Okay I'll call you when I'm dressed." . He called my phone to say that he was outside waiting on me. I hurried up, grabbed my bag and walk outside to the car. There he was standing by the car looking extra handsome. He opens the car door for me and I get in
then he gets in the car. He said " I think Macy's has women bathing suits you wanna go there?" I said " That's fine we can get one from there. But where are we going to swim?" He said " I got us a suite at this hotel in Covington and there is an really big pool there and I think you will like it." I said "Ok that sounds nice." It never crossed my mind that I was going to hotel..funny right. but I was just excited about going swimming with him.
We get to the hotel and its really beautiful and the room has it own living room and kitchen. It is so big and we were on the top floor. The view was really beautiful and it was something I had never done before. So we decided to go to the pool. We were playing around in the pool for almost hour. We kissed while we where in the pool but it was innocent. It wasn't any tongue involved or anything it was just soft kisses. I was really getting kinda wrinkled from the water and we decided to go back up to the suite. We held hands on the elevator and then he looked me straight in the eye and said " I really like spending time you we have so much fun together." and said " I like to spend time with you too." So we go into the suite and I tell him that I'm needed to take a shower to wash the chlorine off. So I go into the bathroom and I get in the shower. I have been in the shower for about 5 minutes now and it is really steamy in the bathroom. All of the sudden he pulls the curtain back and gets in the shower with me. My heart is beating really fast and then he grabbed the loofah from me and began to wash my back. I'm thinking...good and bad things about right now..Should I do this? and Do I really want this? Damn he is fine! What about Mark??????? .Damn he is fine!.
After he washed my back I got out to the shower and grabbed the towel to wrap around me. He gets out of the shower and then I can feel him press his body to the back of mine and then he starts to kiss my neck..then he turns me around and he picks me up and places me on top of the sink. He starts to kiss me .. I kissed him back...I tried not to... Lord knows I tried..but I gave in... ..because he started to kiss that spot that hadn't been touch in a month...I almost slipped off of the sink....I was still wet from the shower..So he pick me up and brought me to the bed and he laid me on me back and then He said " I want you to be mine!" From there we made love (Safely) for the next hour and half. Afterwards I just laid in his arms while he was sleeping. I didn't want to spend the night with him because at the time I was living with my grandmother. Out of respect for her I didn't sleep out so I woke him up to bring me home.
So on the way home I was very quiet and I didn't say anything to him. He asked " What's wrong? Are you Ok?" I said " Yes I'm fine". I really wasn't fine at all and I was really feeling guilty about what I had just done. Don't get me wrong it was amazing but I still felt like dirt afterwards. As well pulled up to my house he asked me again was everything ok and I denied it again. I told him that everything was fine and that I really enjoyed spending time with him the whole day. He leaned over then he kissed me goodnight. I got out of the car and went inside. I went straight to the bathroom and got in the shower. I started to cry because I was really ashamed and scared because I have never been unfaithful before. I thinking..How should I tell him?...Should I say something?..After I got out shower I got into bed and I cried the whole time.
Couple of days went by and I couldn't hold it anymore. I had to get this off my chest so I called Mark..He answered and I said " Mark I don't think I can be with you any more!" I have been in this relationship by myself and you don't care!" I was crying as I was telling this to him. I told him that I was seeing someone else and I could here the sadness in his voice when he said "What?". I just knew it was over from there but then he said that he wanted to work things out with me and that I meant everything to him and he didn't want to lose me. He even asked me to marry him over the phone. I was crying because I felt even worst about what I had done but I mean what was I suppose to do. Mark wasn't there for me when I needed him the most! Was this just his way of pacifying me? Do I really want to be his wife? Do I deserve that title after what I had done? Foolishly I accepted his proposal and as I was on the phone with him...Dallyn is blowing up my phone..Should just leave Dallyn alone after he gave me what I wanted and begged Mark for?
After all was said and done I learned that neither of these guys were for me! After Katrina Mark moved to Atlanta, Ga and he never came back to the N.O. for good. He would come down every once and while and I would see him but other than that nothing grew of it. He is now married to someone else and I wish them the best of luck. As for Dallyn he had to real BIG BAGGAGE that I couldn't handle. I TELL YOU LATER..That's another story..What I take away from this confession is that you have control over your own happiness and if you are unhappy with a relationship or someone...tell that person first and see if they make the change themselves. Because I learned that relationships fail when you try to change the other person instead of yourself. Right now I have the tools for a successful relationship because of what I failed at in the past. So this journey only makes me more equipment for the future holds for me.
I guess I be one of the first to reply again...LMAO...
ReplyDeleteThis goes both ways what you don't get at home, there is also someone else out there really do get in that role. You express your feeling toward him in stating what you want and he didn't do anything to help out the situaton.
We (humans) dont realize something until the next person wants it and then its too late. In the long run may be back was not the best for you. But due to your guilt (which any body can feel due to the person you want is not the person who is giving it to you) toward the other person you did not give him a chance to really win your heart if he was the right person. Which is another story that we will be waitng on to hear (BAGGAGES)