Skip to main content


For some strange reason lately I have been feeling that I no longer will that warm gushy feeling of being in love again. I noticed that right about now I have a very low tolerance for men right now...I am not saying that I'm going to the other side..never that!!! I just feel that I'm on chill right now when it comes to love. I don't know whether I am expecting that feeling when I first fell in love with someone or what but it's not happening. Maybe I am still hung up on the fact that I am doing something wrong. I guess I want that organic flush of feelings and it never seems to happen.

I tend to be attracted to guys and like them for a day and then I'm like nigga stop calling me!! I don't know why I am like that. Another thing is I second guess myself when it comes to guys. This one guy was really handsome and he had a nice body...he was so hot like The Rock hot!! He was telling me how attracted he was to me and how he couldnt' wait to see me. When we went on date I didn't feel like I was his type even after he complimented me and everything. Which I hated that I felt that way because that never really happen to me before. I always have confidence in myself..I could have hair rollers in my hair and a t-shirt and I will feel confident. So I don't know why I felt that way that time.

I am a romantic at heart but lately I feel cold to touch when comes to love. Not that I'm thru with I think I'm just going thru a phase of keeping niggas arm length at all times. Letting people get to know me and then they don't like who I really am is  a fear for me. I can't take another heart wrenching anti-love story. I don't need that in my life. When I was younger I associated sex with love and I thought that when a man is touching you, caressing you, and kissing you that he loved you. That's not the case so now I'm in limbo with a numb heart. One of the guys that I was seeing told me that he missed the old Biffy! He said I was less angry which I had to sit back and look at myself. Was I really angry ? or Am I angry right now?

So I am currently sitting down and writing things that I need to change or I need to love about myself! It's hard to do that because you realize all the negative things you do to others. It's like I'm painting a self portrait with all my ugly qualities and that painting is hard to look at! Cause you want to see yourself as a beautiful person! You know when you are not right!


Popular posts from this blog

Like it or Nahh

I have noticed that if you are a woman you are not suppose to be outwardly sexual because it is frowned upon. I have learned that people tend to judge a woman for being sexual which I think is pretty ridiculous! I have been a victim of this myself. Some men that I have dealings with in the past didn't necessarily liked that I blogged about sex or that I was so open with strangers about my love life. I found that quite funny and very judgmental but I guess that comes with the territory. If I am divulging all this info about myself someone out there isn't going to agree with me or be on my side. I expect that I want that because I respect people's criticism but when it's malicious I don't tolerant that. I think that what I write about could possibly help another person. I know that I go thru things on a daily basis when it comes to men and relationships. Why not share my experiences and my take on things whether it be sexual or not. Some people's opinions are

The First 15....

Janee' was set up on a date with a mutual friend of ours on a blind date. She asked me if he was cute and what the dimensions were....Lol..I told her that she would find out when she sees him for the first time. I choose not to show her any pics because I wanted it to be a real blind date! Janee' was very nervous so I told her that I would be in Barnes & Noble that was just down the street from the restaurant. To make a long story short...Janee' came back to Barnes & Noble and she said that he was very handsome and he had really good conversation...then she said the "He CAN GET IT!!"...LOL Being a woman myself I know if I meet a new guy I can tell within the first 15 minutes if I like him...If I would go the next date and if I would sleep with him. Mind you the first 5 minutes are physical and the other 10 is his introduction!!  It all about chemistry and vibes for me..but that being said even if I felt that way before he started talking that could cha

Artificial Love!!!

I have been in a situation where I thought I was in love but really it was just lust. This guy that i was involved with was a nice handsome guy and he different from any other guy because it was a physical attraction. I never had a thought of him being my man or anything like that! You know sometimes I imagine... I know this is strange lol....but I usually image what a guy would look like in my wedding image that I have in my head... Lol but I never did that to him... He was sexy and he knew my body like he studied it or something lol... Amazing sex but empty at the same time! No real intimacy was like after all the hormones were released... the moaning ... grabbing... exhaling & shit and you get no emotional response back.. I didn't want that because I knew deep inside he wasn't for me! That took a bit of time for me to understand that because I thought I loved him but until I noticed that I was just another notch in his belt but at the same time I had to thi